his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
