The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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