I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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