This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
