Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Couch. On fire.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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