Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We were destined to go to rehab together
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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