i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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