somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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