I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
