Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
A bitchslap is in order.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
