he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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