Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
