I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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