We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
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I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
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Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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