apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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