I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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