Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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