I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
