I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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