This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize