I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize