come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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