But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i already hear my dad disowning me
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
