New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
