never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
