Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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