today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
