thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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