I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
