See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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