Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
