just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
