living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
