ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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