Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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