That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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