oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
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