I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
