Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
