you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
