things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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