two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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