Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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