I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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