No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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