I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
