dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
