My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
