Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
