therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
ttyl tear gas
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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