I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
handjob tips. give me some.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
