I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I deserve this hangover.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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