But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
