on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When did angry sex become our thing?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
