very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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