I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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