just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
